Brad Pitt says he's just good friends with his Mr and Mrs Smith co-star, Angelina Jolie. But some people wonder whether a platonic, non-sexual relationship is possible between a man and a woman.
Hong Kong's bars teem with people who claim to be just good friends - pals who share cocktails and company and nothing more. Or are they?
Blonde, blue-eyed Amber sits with a group of men and women in Red, a bar in the IFC Mall.
"Of course a guy and a girl can be just good friends," the 30-year-old artist manager says, "When I first came to Hong Kong, I knew two people. Going around town, I was just happy to make a friend, irrespective of their gender, which many new expats feel, I'm sure.
"Everyone's sort of trying to find friends," she says. "You get the instant common denominator. You're in a different city, you've got an interest in Asia. You're living abroad. It's really hard to find really close friends. In turn, some of them become your family. Your little tribe.
"I would rather be in that tribe and know that I'll always have that friend than date them and, if I went horribly wrong, lose the friendship over it. It's difficult to continue being friends after things have gone sour while dating."
Amber says "It is just not there" with some men, no matter how attractive they may be. "A few years ago, there was this guy who lived across from my flat and we were both single," she says. "We were friends. We'd order in on Sundays and watch a movie. There was a mild attraction, but we never crossed a line. I don't have any brothers, just a sister. Growing up, we just had friends who were guys and nothing more.
"I don't think I'd date a guy who didn't have any friends who were girls."
Amber says that some younger, more immature guys think they can't be friends with girls. "Once they grow up and are more relaxed in the other's company, they'll recognise that of course you can be friends," she says. "To me, it's a sign of a mature, sensitive and sensible person."
Michelle agrees. The thirty something company boss says she has a close-knit circle of friends, some of whom are men.
"One of my friends, who's a lawyer, makes good money, works out quite a bit, has his own place - everything's right on paper," she says. "But there were no sparks when we met. He was good-looking, but not my type. He was a nice guy. The more I got to know him, the more I realised he's a sweet person."
Michelle says she talks about everything with her male lawyer friend. "We're into arts, so we talk about that," she says. "He's into property and I'm into property. Now I'm married and he's hooked up with my husband, too, and they go to the rugby Sevens and get drunk together."
Sharon Glick, a relationship expert at St John's Cathedral counselling service, has seen many couples who fall out over platonic friendships.
She says straight men and straight women can be platonic friends. "But underneath it all, there'll be an attraction," she says. "This includes samme-gender friends."
All relationships have some spark of attraction, she says. "And attraction can certainly have a sexual edge," Glick says. "That doesn't mean you have to act on it. It includes relationships with the same gender. If you said that to your average homophobic guy, he'd be in complete denial. Those who are more secure will be aware of that."
So, does this mean that there's an un-acted-on spark among beer buddies at the Sevens? "I use the word 'attraction' in its basic sense, as opposed to repulsion," says Glick. "Not the full-blown erotic attraction. Take it from Sigmund Freud and his concept of the 'ero's. It's positive feelings, the warm feelings, the warm colours, the feeling of attraction. Platonic love is a concept of ero's."
If someone looked like Quasimodo and drooled at the table, they'd find it difficult to have friends, irrespective of the gender, Glick says. "Repulsion springs from different areas, and it can have nothing to do with looks. Sean connery is physically an attractive man. But he is also misogynistic. He talks about how women should be slapped occasionally, and that makes him horrifically unattractive. Similarly, you'll find two good looking people who are just friends and nothing more for myriad reasons."
However, experts warn that even platonic friendships can cause problems for relationships and marriages - especially if the pals form an emotional bond and start to share secrets, hopes and dreams with each other rather than with their partners.
In Lan Kwai Fong, Anghard says looks have little to do with her platonic friendships. "Some ignite my 'want to be his sister' sort of feelings, and the movie buddy list," she says. "I met a guy not too long ago - tall blond and an ex-model. And he'd be great boyfriend material - in a photograph. But only in a picture. He just wasn't my type. I just couldn't talk to him after a certain point and there was no attraction."
James agrees with the chorus of women - perhaps because he's out numbered. "I believe men and women can be friends, but that takes a conscious decision to be so on both sides," the advertising executive says. "It also takes unspoken rules of behaviour. I guess there's always going to be the potential for something sexual to happen."
Diamond dealer Jin throws in a gem of his own. "Of course, I have girls who are just friends and nothing more," the 25-year-old says, "They're fat."
An ice cube bounces off his forehead. The women groan.
'YOU WANT TO NAIL THEM, TOO'
In the movie When Harry Met Sally, Billy Crystal (Harry) and Meg Ryan (Sally) discuss whether men and women can be just friends.
Harry: You realise of course that we could never be friends.
Sally: Why not?
Harry: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry: No you don't.
Sally: Yes I do.
Harry: No you don't.
Sally: Yes I do.
Harry: You only think you do.
Sally: You say I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry: No, what I'm saying is they all want to have sex with you.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: How do you know?
Harry: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally: So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry: No. You pretty much want to nail them, too.
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